Perry + Gabby's First 15 Rules of Life: (Like the Ten Commandments, only scandalous)

So, my friend Perry and I were discussing at a sleepover at her house how we have a few friends whose advice never seems to work for us not matter how much they convince us it will, so to help us follow our own beliefs (and also because it was 3 in the morning, no one was on Skype anymore, and we were out of sparkling cider, which all lead to melodramatic boredom and excessive eating), we decided to create a list of rules off the top of our heads that we will *try* to live by. These are the 15 we came up with so far.


#1. Make sure the pen you're using to write the list actually @&$?¡€#% works.
#2. NEVER ask/heed/listen to relationship advice from friends whose love lives have never worked out and/or friends who've never dated. (Oh, and ugly friends, too. Forgot that one...)
#3. NEVER ask a guy why he likes you. He'll *usually* end up questioning why he does, and get the hell out of dodge. I know WAYYY too many people who make that mistake.
#4. Icing and ice cream do NOT make everything better, ladies, despite what you've seen on sitcoms. It only makes awkward Skype conversations with people at sleepovers that makes you seem high... Wait, what I was saying?
#5. Do NOT plank on spiky fences. Despite what you may have been told, you are NOT Jesus. (or maybe you are...)
#6. Don't wear lipstick if you're in a relationship because it screams "I'm single, and can wear whatever the hell I want on my lips because no one's ever going to touch mine. I could wear elephant s**t if I really wanted to (but that's another story ;))"
#7. Never say "balls" if you have the opportunity to say "bollocks."
#8. Never tell anyone you think you might meet twice what you truly think about anything, ESPECIALLY if you're a girl.
#9. Pointy shoes are the best choice of weapon for kicking males in their privates. Just sayin'.
#10. Guys who use the word "faggot" in a derogatory sense are obviously compensating for something.
#11. DO NOT KISS WITH YOUR EYES OPEN. THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE.
#12. Algebra 2 is an entirely pointless class. It's just there to fill the gap between shapes and calculators.
#13. If you can't comprehend European humor, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU. If you can, SOMETHING'S WRONG WITH YOU, but in a good way. ;)
#14. Don't go to the movies as a first date. You really don't get to know them if you're sitting quietly in the dark, unless you're a pervert and that's the only way you'll ever want to know them. I'm totally kidding. Be a pervert. xD
#15. Always walk in tempo, whether there's music playing or not, in which case, sing or hum to yourself even if you look like a moron doing it.


To be continued when the authors are sane once more (which is NEVERRR, so suck it up)...