The quotes of the week

I already have got some awesomesauce quotes from people, and it's only Sunday night!
So, here's the list for 12/11/11:
#1. "And his hand is on my dick--I mean, stomach. Where did 'dick' come from?!"
#2. "I hate it when I dash my foot against a stoner."
#3. "My leg still hurts, but there are cookies in the kitchen. :) If only my leg ate cookies..."
#4. "Why do the Scots wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear the zippers. ;)"

12/12/11:
#5. "Are you kidding me? The dude thinks you shit rainbows."
#6. "That makes me happy. You've finally found your soulmate; finally someone just as creepy as you, AND he's blonde. BONUS."
#7. "You sound like a ballOOOONN!"
#8. "Goodbye, Ms. one-who-wears-the-pants! Wait... that means he wears a dress. :D"

12/13/11
#9. "Licking doughnut cuuuuuuuuu...stard."
#10. "If I were a hobo, I would sleep here."
#11. "Were you... biting his ear? ;)"
#12. "It's THOR'S-DAY! Hammer tiiiiime!"
#13. "You make me funny... wait, what?! I mean, happy. -facepalm-"

12/14/11
#14. "I think we just said, cover your butt."
#15. "Be creeped."
#16. "It really doesn't matter what I'm singing because I'm such a pretty sailor."
#17. "You are all like fake-y fakers who stink at faking..."

12/15/11
#15. "Oh, so THAT'S why they thought I was high-OOOO, look, a bicycle! SHINYYY."
#16. "Hi, I'm bald, jealous, and male. Who are you?"
#17.  "Hold up heere. DaFUQ (WITH a Q because it's just that sexii.)"
#18. "Wait, what's dangerous?!"
"You know what's dangerous? That hat. People just stare at that hat, and walk into trees, walls, and cars."
#19. "You didn't say awesomesauce, did you, Bella? Oh, that's just NAAAASTY."

12/16/11
#20. "WOW. That really IS a whore school. You guys are WHORES."
#21. "I gotta piss in my friggin' piss-vagina...-thing. Yeah."
#22. "You know, if I ever get drunk, I'm gonna call you, Mum, because I'd be sooooo easy."
"That's what your reliable friends are for."
*awkward pause*
"No, I'm good. I'd call you because you're my mom. No, because your Beth. No, not even Beth. ELIZA Beth. No, not Elizabeth. It's with a space 'cause you're fruggin' awesomesauce."
"Ok, you're a little loopy..."

12/17/11 (from the Lessons and Carols Party at my house)
#23. "Oh, that wouldn't work. I kill animals. They just all die around me. It's not really my fault."
"Red flag, son, RUN!"
#24. "You're all hot and Tarzan-y, and I'm all saggy like an old transvestite."
#25. "I just noticed that he's the only one with one hand under the table..."
(AAANNNDD there's much more, but I'm not going to post them for the sake of the people who said them because they are kinda scandalous beyond measure....)
#26. "My voice got all high."
"*falsetto* No it *voice drops* didn't."

To be continued...
Ok, these ARE quotes, IDK from when though...
#27. "Are you going to keep touching your friend while I'm talking to you?"
#28. "MY SHOW."
#29. "I start to rule the world until the last week of February."
#30. "We're giving you a mental hug. Ok, bye."