Back... again?

Well, yes. For probably the fourth time now, I'm back... from doing stuff... after many months.
I haven't been through my quotes in a while, so some of these might already be on here, but I noticed that I haven't said much in a while, so I'll share these quotes instead for your amusement:

#1. (Now, please, no one kill me for this one.) Upon learning some new lingo during a conversation about our school's opera:
Me: "It's set in Hell."
Dad: "Maybe your chemistry teacher will be there. She'll go all ham on the devil. 'I'm gonna go all ham on this #!&&@.'"

#2.  These are all from the same person (she's going to hate me for posting these):
"I'm just a random toucan..."
"That's why I put it in my liking... pile."
"Sorry guys. I tried to fart, but I, like, pooped. Just kidding, you can check my pants."
"I'm going to put them on a chain and wear them around. cc:<"
"Hey guys. I know two celebrities. Like, two hot celebrities. I mean-- they're two little girls, so, not..."

#3. "You've still got some food on your face."
"You've still got some Simon on your face."

#4. Me mum trying to tell me how to avoid creepy people...
"The f*ck-off walk is not bunny ears and smiley faces."

#5. "If not soup, it'll be rabbit stew."
"Tell him to watch his bunnies."

#6. "Potato--I mean, plate."
... because they totally sound similar.

#7. Dad trying to sound cool, talking about the song 'Bang a Gong' by T-Rex...
"I don't think T-Rexes can bang gongs. They're just like, derpderp."

#8. ... the trying out new lingo continues...
Dad: "No commas!"
Mum: "And exclamation points!"
Dad: "And if you do a reversed Spanish question mark, I'll have to bitch-slap you!"

#9. Mum trying out innuendo... and being racist.
"The sauce-a, she goes-a everywhere!"

#10. Me: "Can I have some juices?"
Mum: "Juices of mooses?"
... Doctor Seuss, you sick f*ck.

#11. And this is what my friends sound like:
"I just gave you telepathic herpes."

#12. Me trying to be assertive and publicly upset at someone other than my parents for once in my life:
"There is a beverage on the ground, Madame! Calm your breasts!"

... aaand that concludes my fun. *Hopefully* I'll remember my blog exists and attempt to make more posts in the future.

I'm baaaack! c;

Why hello!
Good day to you all. c:
I just realized that I haven't posted anything here since *probably* April and that's kind of sad. Since then, I had a lovely trip to England and then spent the rest of the summer watching my small people. -_- But anyways, I started school again yesterday and so far, sophomore year is mostly a nightmare. To demonstrate this, I'll start getting back in my groove by sharing a quote from today from my new teacher:

"...  GO AND BE LITTLE JACKASSES SOMEWHERE ELSE."

Yup. That happened. I am sadly not exaggerating. There are multiple teachers like that this year, not just that one.

Buuuuuut, there's one (super-) human being who makes everything better. That's right, you know who it is... my teacher. c: And this is why:

"There are some roles that could be played by both genders. Like the mail box could be the fe-mail box."

I will leave you with that.

Birthday? QUOI?

Well, it's my birthday. QUOI? That was my reaction. It's 8:45 right now, I'll be 15 in 15 minutes... wow. When did my birthday become so insignificant to me? It's such a weird revelation. Not making a crazy ass numbered birthday wish list with website links and prices... it's so odd. I remember doing that just last year, and now... wow. Well, anywhore, enough of me not being a smart ass. ;)

Here's some funny quotes you've missed;

#1. "Mmm, I am a very fearsome creature. I only do it for the beer."

#2. "Heyyy, Mom."
"Heyyyy, sexy."
"WHAT?!"

#3. "Now, I've got to make your loincloth, dear."

#4. "Czerny. No, Gurlitt."
"Gesundheit."

#5. "They hoped one day, their lost penis would return-- I mean, princess."

#6. Me: "That was the first time I've hung out with my peers since last month. I've only hung out with my colleagues."
Dad: "Yes, your snogging colleagues."
Me: "What?! NO!"
Dad: "Yes, sucking face is qualified as work, apparently."
Me: "You ho. Boo hiss."
Dad: "Hey, it's your song!"
Me: "'Evil Woman'?! You whore!"
Dad: "Haha, love you, too!"

#7. "I am Maul. People like to go browsing in me."

#8. "Faire du vélo my bottom?"

#9. "Hey, do you know how you get that vaginal discharge after your period? Weelll, mine's pink."

#10. "Hey, Gabriela, is it your birthday?"
"Yeah!"
"Put some pants on. -__-

Gene Kelly?!

While writing a paper on Gene Kelly, I came across this website, http://genekellyfans.com/musicals/kissing/, on the Gene Kelly fan page.


"Yes, according to Debbie Reynolds, her “more experienced” co-star unexpectedly French-kissed her while shooting the final shot of Singin’ in the Rain (1952), shown below. Much to the chagrin and sheer dismay of Kelly’s current fans, Reynolds quickly recoiled at the act, ran off the set, and gargled her mouth with Coca-Cola." -http://genekellyfans.com/musicals/kissing/

Ewewewwwwwww

Yeah. How about 'dem apples? She was 19 and he was 40 when they filmed "Singin' in the Rain."

Still love him, but jeez...

'Tis March

Well, hellooooo there. It's March now, so I thought I'd make a new post (plus, I'm home sick with flu symptoms, so I haven't got a great amount of other things to do...)

During my adventures this past week, I encountered some new fantabulous quotes that I thought I'd share.

#1. "The Lord is the money on my right hand."

#2. "I'm probably dying, but it's alright because Peter offered me a kidney... over Facebook. And I haz a cupcake."

#3. Me: "Are psychological issue hereditary?"
Dad: "Sometimes. Depends. Like, your anxiety, yes. Fear of bunnies, no."
Brother: "Am I afraid of bunnies?"

#4. "Can I be the Lorax for Christmas, Mommy?"

#5. "Stop f*cking me. My brain can't handle it."

#6. "I love your expression in this. You look like you just got spoonfed tomato soup by Jake Gyllenhaal."

To be continued (hopefully, by some of you)...

Alll done!

Now that I'm done with "H.M.S. Pinafore" and I've got free time, I thought I'd share some interesting quotes I've collected along the way.

#1. "Well, I didn't think your loins were on fire, but..."

#2. "*pointing at a shirt with a feminine-caucasian-looking silhouette of Jacob Black on it* Hey, that looks like you, Bella!"
"Oh dear God... it does!"
"Ha, you should get that for him?"
"You are aware we broke up, right?"
"Yeah, I know. I'm just being cruel. All he's got left is a shirt. Mwahahaha!"

#3. "We've got the first two seasons of Downton Abbey."
"Donna Tanabi? Donna's hair gone nappy? Quoi?"

#4. "I'm a white ninja!"

#5. "You've gotta keep a hot dog in your pocket. That's how you get them."

#6. "Oh, you mean Queen Laqueefa?"

#7. "Don't worry. You'll never be as creepy as ____ on an orgasmic rampage."

More obscene valentines

Yes, we made even MORE Valentine's in French class, but this time, I made them with my friend who's going to be the Darth Talon to my Darth Maul at Tekkoshocon.

She made this one. "Rasta Jesus adore vous!"

This one is mine. "Je t'aime, Darth Talon. Ici, tiens une orpheline. <3, Darth Maul"

And the hilarity ensues

Yes, newly discovered typos number two AND three. Fo' realz.

"The Sun Who's Rays" and "Gabriella S(c)hunn." WHY?

Hey, at least it's not arranged by Bearbeiter. xD

Dear William

At school, we had a vocal recital and check out the program.
Let's play a round of "Who can find the God awful typo?"

"by William A. Mozart" ?!

Yeah. If that isn't a bundle of WTF, I don't know what is.

Valentine's Day

So, if  you don't already know this, I hate Valentine's Day. The idea's nice, sure, but it's such a commercial holiday. (Plus, I'm not the biggest fan of cheesy love... *pukes*) Anywhore, in French class, we had to make valentines with French on them (obviously), and this friend of mine and I have this inside joke about this teacher of ours because he accidentally says outrageous things (as you would know if you've read most of the quotes from this blog), so this is what became of that.

Because of course you care so much about it, you WILL enjoy this photo of a Valentine my friend made for me in class. That, plus it's freaking hilarious (and I'll put up a photo of me as Darth Maul if you do) and it gives you another reason to make fun of me for loving this so much.
So, here we are:

"Je te montre plaisir. Viens voir." = "I'll show you pleasure. Come."

Happy (or in some cases, maybe not) Valentine's Day!

Whoops...

So, the whole "posting" thing didn't work... I was just too busy.
To make up for my forgetfulness, enjoy these new quotes from friends/family from the past two weeks:

#1. "What soup? I don't own soup!"

#2. "My flowers are like dead penises."

#3. "Yes, 'look beer' is so much more nuanced than 'love.' When I was young, I often thought on 'look beer.'"

#4. "I don't understand the movement. Is he dropping his pants?!"

#5. "(mimicking) I like her boobs! *squish*"
"Mommy, you're making potty jokes! Do you need to sit on the potty?"
"Nooooo, there's no toilet involved in boobies!"
"Unless you want it to..."

#6. "I think I get twerking, but I keep getting this image in my brain of someone farting so loud that their while butt jiggles."

#7. "I might get eaten... by a penguin."

#8. "Mollie, shut up. He's white."

#9. "I'm not naked. I just vagina-ed."

#10. "Why are you motor-boating my butt?"
"'Cause it was cushy and butt-cheeky."

#11. "You could even make a trash bag and a pile of sh*t look gorgeous."

Also for your enjoyment, here is a picture that explains life.:

You're welcome.

"Crotchet"

I was FaceTiming someone, and my mom randomly comes up to me with her laptop and says, "Guess what the British word for quarter note is?" And obviously, I thought it was just a rhetorical question, like, of COURSE it's a quarter note. But no. The British word for quarter note is a "crotchet." Yes, people. "Crotch-et." DaFUQ? With a Q, right?!

(Seriously.... here:)
http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/crotchet

So, this week, I will be posting obscene musically/grammatically related posts (hopefully, if I don't die from mid-terms.... :/)

Found this one of Facebook... Dear Lord. <3

Can't even begin to describe how true this is. All I can say is, "I am SO much more Ralph."

I'm baaaccccck!

HA, you thought I died, didn't you? Well, I'm back, and with a whole bunch of new quotes. Being that I didn't record what days the quotes were from, I'm just going to list a long string of them.

#1. "Bull. What Spock's really saying is 'Live long and F*CK OFF."

#2. "Your nuts roasting on an open fire..."

#3. "*laughing hysterically* Ok, nobody fart because that... would be bad."
"Mom, are you high?"
"*laughing even harder* Noooooo..."
"Mommy had too much wine."
"Nononono, I had water afterwards/"
"Oh, yeah, because that's exactly how that works."

#4. "They just rent them to say 'Hey, I'm a drummer. Just pretend there are multiple of me. I like to drum on my... drums."

#5. "It's a horny dinosaur!"

#6. "It just happens sometimes, and I get ticked."
"*giggling* TWSS."
"Ok, look at the damn lights and stop thinking dirty thoughts! Oh, look, that's nice. It's an elf taking a dump. And that one's pulling down his pants. *laughs maniacally*"

#7. "Someone's gonna be missing a present because Santa's drunk! Great job, fat guy!"

#8. "Ahhhh, it's the plastic dementor bag again!"
"GODAMNIT, stop it!"

#9. "Oh, look, boys! It's bears! Bears on big balls! Then there's bears jumping on poles."

#10. "Why is that tree yellow?"
"It's the plague. Tree plague."

#11. "Poop n'at, ya jag offs.'

#12. "I don't understand how it's physically possibly for you to fit in something you got when you were two."
"Oh, no, she was just a grotesquely obese two year old. You fatty."

#13. "FOLLOW. THE. STICK."

#14. "I've got a sparkly sweater. I own a bedazzled. Everything I own at home is bedazzled. I'm all about the sparkles."

#15. "You were all like 'A.... men?'"

#16. "F*CK YOU TIMES 40,000,000,000 EXCEPT FOR NOT REALLY BECAUSE THAT'S GROSS."
"... um, that's not the girl's job, anyways."

#17. "Total motherf*cking juicebox carbohydrate loaded cum squirting phoney baloney banana a** bullsh*t. No way have you never watched porn."

#18. "I wonder if that conversation would sound something like this: 'I am dog, I like sex. Sex?'"

#19. "I think that would be you, Ms. I-just-shat-my-pants. :P"

#20. "So, in dance class, the teacher said, 'Now girls, stick out your pancakes' and the girl next to me said 'I don't have very tasty pancakes.'"

#21. "Now, you can sit in on the rehearsal, but you can's sit on the trombone's lap."

#22. "Awesomesauce. No, I take it back. Wrong word. It sounds to pervy. Hmm... poo! Freakingfryingpanful. Emm... too long."

#23. "Feels better than earlier today but I wish I wasn't sick still."
"Feel better, my fellow lonely manly man. ♥"
"We are smart and sober men. ;)"
"Or ARE we? ;)"
"Actually no, we're gay and girly sailor strippers with syphilis."

#24. "Sour kangaroo is a beatch."

#25. "I feel so aloooonnnneee!"