I'm baaaccccck!

HA, you thought I died, didn't you? Well, I'm back, and with a whole bunch of new quotes. Being that I didn't record what days the quotes were from, I'm just going to list a long string of them.

#1. "Bull. What Spock's really saying is 'Live long and F*CK OFF."

#2. "Your nuts roasting on an open fire..."

#3. "*laughing hysterically* Ok, nobody fart because that... would be bad."
"Mom, are you high?"
"*laughing even harder* Noooooo..."
"Mommy had too much wine."
"Nononono, I had water afterwards/"
"Oh, yeah, because that's exactly how that works."

#4. "They just rent them to say 'Hey, I'm a drummer. Just pretend there are multiple of me. I like to drum on my... drums."

#5. "It's a horny dinosaur!"

#6. "It just happens sometimes, and I get ticked."
"*giggling* TWSS."
"Ok, look at the damn lights and stop thinking dirty thoughts! Oh, look, that's nice. It's an elf taking a dump. And that one's pulling down his pants. *laughs maniacally*"

#7. "Someone's gonna be missing a present because Santa's drunk! Great job, fat guy!"

#8. "Ahhhh, it's the plastic dementor bag again!"
"GODAMNIT, stop it!"

#9. "Oh, look, boys! It's bears! Bears on big balls! Then there's bears jumping on poles."

#10. "Why is that tree yellow?"
"It's the plague. Tree plague."

#11. "Poop n'at, ya jag offs.'

#12. "I don't understand how it's physically possibly for you to fit in something you got when you were two."
"Oh, no, she was just a grotesquely obese two year old. You fatty."

#13. "FOLLOW. THE. STICK."

#14. "I've got a sparkly sweater. I own a bedazzled. Everything I own at home is bedazzled. I'm all about the sparkles."

#15. "You were all like 'A.... men?'"

#16. "F*CK YOU TIMES 40,000,000,000 EXCEPT FOR NOT REALLY BECAUSE THAT'S GROSS."
"... um, that's not the girl's job, anyways."

#17. "Total motherf*cking juicebox carbohydrate loaded cum squirting phoney baloney banana a** bullsh*t. No way have you never watched porn."

#18. "I wonder if that conversation would sound something like this: 'I am dog, I like sex. Sex?'"

#19. "I think that would be you, Ms. I-just-shat-my-pants. :P"

#20. "So, in dance class, the teacher said, 'Now girls, stick out your pancakes' and the girl next to me said 'I don't have very tasty pancakes.'"

#21. "Now, you can sit in on the rehearsal, but you can's sit on the trombone's lap."

#22. "Awesomesauce. No, I take it back. Wrong word. It sounds to pervy. Hmm... poo! Freakingfryingpanful. Emm... too long."

#23. "Feels better than earlier today but I wish I wasn't sick still."
"Feel better, my fellow lonely manly man. ♥"
"We are smart and sober men. ;)"
"Or ARE we? ;)"
"Actually no, we're gay and girly sailor strippers with syphilis."

#24. "Sour kangaroo is a beatch."

#25. "I feel so aloooonnnneee!"