Well, yes. For probably the fourth time now, I'm back... from doing stuff... after many months.
I haven't been through my quotes in a while, so some of these might already be on here, but I noticed that I haven't said much in a while, so I'll share these quotes instead for your amusement:
#1. (Now, please, no one kill me for this one.) Upon learning some new lingo during a conversation about our school's opera:
Me: "It's set in Hell."
Dad: "Maybe your chemistry teacher will be there. She'll go all ham on the devil. 'I'm gonna go all ham on this #!&&@.'"
#2. These are all from the same person (she's going to hate me for posting these):
"I'm just a random toucan..."
"That's why I put it in my liking... pile."
"Sorry guys. I tried to fart, but I, like, pooped. Just kidding, you can check my pants."
"I'm going to put them on a chain and wear them around. cc:<"
"Hey guys. I know two celebrities. Like, two hot celebrities. I mean-- they're two little girls, so, not..."
#3. "You've still got some food on your face."
"You've still got some Simon on your face."
#4. Me mum trying to tell me how to avoid creepy people...
"The f*ck-off walk is not bunny ears and smiley faces."
#5. "If not soup, it'll be rabbit stew."
"Tell him to watch his bunnies."
#6. "Potato--I mean, plate."
... because they totally sound similar.
#7. Dad trying to sound cool, talking about the song 'Bang a Gong' by T-Rex...
"I don't think T-Rexes can bang gongs. They're just like, derpderp."
#8. ... the trying out new lingo continues...
Dad: "No commas!"
Mum: "And exclamation points!"
Dad: "And if you do a reversed Spanish question mark, I'll have to bitch-slap you!"
#9. Mum trying out innuendo... and being racist.
"The sauce-a, she goes-a everywhere!"
#10. Me: "Can I have some juices?"
Mum: "Juices of mooses?"
... Doctor Seuss, you sick f*ck.
#11. And this is what my friends sound like:
"I just gave you telepathic herpes."
#12. Me trying to be assertive and publicly upset at someone other than my parents for once in my life:
"There is a beverage on the ground, Madame! Calm your breasts!"
... aaand that concludes my fun. *Hopefully* I'll remember my blog exists and attempt to make more posts in the future.
